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Roses. My life has become like roses, beautiful as it may seem but its thorns bleed me like shock waves. And wilting as time pass by.

Random thoughts and feelings from daily experiences has accumulated me these past few weeks like monsters waiting for that perfect time to go out from the dark:

• It’s currently 4am while i’m writing typing this all down. Just so you know.


• Routines. When everyday seems to be in routines, your life definitely sucks.


• Bizarre thoughts and feelings screaming when midnight strikes.


• Friends. Sisters. They come and go. Until now, i’m wondering what went wrong. Leaving without goodbye is more painful. Closure is what i’m longing for.


• My mind is as fickle as the weather decides to shift from rainy to sunny.


• I’m becoming a lazy ass, and it’s sad.


• I love what I do, I really do. But sometimes when I have those days where i’m having a hard time getting up from bed, I wish I have someone to remind me why I’m here and why I am doing this.


• To the girl over the internet, I don’t know why you have to make a big deal out of my curiosity and opinion.


• "Becoming friends with people who aren’t your age. Hang out with people whose first language isn’t same as yours. Get to know someone who doesn’t come from your social class. This is how you see the world. This is how you grow."


• When the person whom you expect to understand and accept what you believed in doesn’t. Assuming destroys me.

• "You can tell so much about a person by the way they leave you." - Redvers Bailey 


• I felt like my eyes are like waterfalls which tears run down heavily.


• There is nothing that makes the unbearable bearable.


• Maybe today you get to curl inside your darkness. Maybe today you can talk back to those voices. Maybe today you are allowed not to bite your tongue to keep yourself from screaming. Maybe today you get a chance to rip, throw and smash things around. raid. Maybe today you could stop pretending that you’re okay. Maybe. 


• It’s funny how you can think and write beautiful words when you’re at your lowest. 


• I’m just grateful that I have my best friend in this time of my life.


• "I don’t chase people anymore. I learned that I’m here, and I’m important. I’m not going to run after people to prove that I matter and I am me." - EY 


• Maybe it just takes a day or two to cry it all out.


• Over thinking and dwelling.


• Succulent and cacti shopping plus gardening has become my therapy.


• Hope. Hoping for better days. I know it’ll come. :)


• It’s okay. t’s okay to be sad and to break down sometimes, but i’m pretty sure i’ll stand up and i’ll become a stronger better me.


• "Someday, god knows when, I will stop this absurd, self-pitying, idle, futile despair, and I will begin to think again." -Sylvia Plath


• I should get my shit together. Fast.

Relieved to let it all out. This is after all a personal/lifestyle blog slash diary. I’m gaining back my balance from falling really hard, and soon enough you’ll never know, i’ll be walking with killer heels in my own runway. :)